The Bitch and The Wolf
The Bitch and The Wolf
Adelaide
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Wolfie is with Baby B in S.A , Wolfie can help but notice a short sight of the city
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Hi, I'm the Wolf and Bitch and Wolf, back again after another delayed break. I know I promise you that I'm gonna pump these episodes out, but you know I hate fucking conforming and conforming's been very busy of late and I really haven't had the energy to really do anything except for fucking hit the bed and kick the dog and swing the cat around by the tail and whatnot. No, I don't do them things because I don't have very for them as a pet. Speaking of my pets, hello baby boo.
SPEAKER_01Hello, Wolfie.
SPEAKER_00Well, baby boo, we uh just got back a couple of days ago, got back from the city of Adelaide.
SPEAKER_01We did.
SPEAKER_00We went down and spent four days with your lovely sister and brother-in-law.
SPEAKER_01Yes, beautiful people.
SPEAKER_00Amazing people. They listen, I don't know if they do, they'd probably get sick of my voice already.
SPEAKER_01I think brother-in-law listens.
SPEAKER_00Wagsy.
SPEAKER_01Wagsy, good bloke.
SPEAKER_00Top bloke, and uh your sister's beautiful. Yep. And thank you guys for an amazing time down there. There's a couple of things I need to uh get off my chest. Just my observations of the so-called city of churches. Number one would be when we went to f to the city part, it sort of didn't look like it was a real big city. And coming from Fat Cat City, that's that's a normal fucking thing. We're like the smallest city in Australia. It looked small from we caught a train in there and it looks small from the distance. It actually looks small when we flew in. The city's actually quite sizable when you get in there. I mean they don't have massive tall buildings, maybe just Fat Cat City, but it is still very big.
SPEAKER_01Beautiful old buildings.
SPEAKER_00Yes, but the city of churches, they don't fly by with me because I was seen two churches the whole time we were down there. This so-called city of churches, we come from a place here that's just outside of Fat Cat City. When you open a door, you can count seven churches straight off the bat. Boom boom boom. It's like a city of churches. Adelaide didn't really have that. No. They should stick to the murder capital. Maybe. We had a good time down there. We were lucky enough to be uh taken to the AFL baby B, you know, um I'm not a big AFL supporter. I uh actually did support the Power, which is Adelaide or Power, only when I was playing uh consoles years ago. And you went forward to St. Kildard's and we happened to play down there and we were lucky enough your your sister and brother-in-law took us there, and fucking amazing, amazing sight. That oval is fan fucking tastic.
SPEAKER_01Even when you walk in, there's that church at the other end and the river, and it was just beautiful.
SPEAKER_00It was it was it was stunning, and that oval is such a great oval to watch any sport. Okay, the APL was good, the power one. I put a bet on that they went more boys 60, but they kicked about 15 behind. And we went head to head in that game, sort of. Yep. But the week before we went head to head in the proper game, my game. I'm not bagging April. I sort of started watching it a bit this weekend, but you know, because it sparked an interest in in me. But in the real game, my game, rugby league, and I'm not putting shit on April. Once again, I'm not doing that because the reason I'm not doing when I was about twenty, I was down in Country Victoria, and I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder down there, and uh I started bagging out that game, April.
SPEAKER_03Oh.
SPEAKER_00Call it uh Aerial Ballet, the game for facts, and boy oh boy, did I get my fucking attitude put into uh place down there.
SPEAKER_01Bit of an adjustment.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it was one of them uh one of them floggins that took about four or five weeks to probably get over, you know, to uh even show your fucking head again. So I'm not pulling shit on it, but our game is rugby league, and we went head to head last week. Go to Mighty Bulldogs up against Newcastle.
SPEAKER_01And you won.
SPEAKER_00Yes, we are mine, and uh I won, and you we had that bet, and that bet was you're gonna be my sexual I don't want to say slave, but uh they call them people. You have your masters and you have your slaves, I guess. We'll give you a slave day tonight just before we record. Yes. You jumped a gate pretty big. You're ahead of me by I'm gonna say uh at least ten.
SPEAKER_01It's like an AFL score.
SPEAKER_00Have you have you reached double figures? Yeah. So you've got ten goals to my one behind because I haven't, you know, I've had a bit of a bit of a dribble. Not complaining. It is my art. You know, that bet really wasn't a loss for you at all. No. If anything, you'll be hoping.
SPEAKER_01Always the winner. We even walked home together holding hands after that game. So different story if I lost, but last year you left at before half time.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but that weren't weren't real good last year.
SPEAKER_01Do you remember that? Do you remember?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I do remember.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, 66 nil, I think.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, 66 nil, but I told you I didn't, you know, I've only just come back to the game of league. You know, under my circumstances why I dropped off.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00And you know, the doggies weren't mean I'm I'm a die-hard doggies supporter, as you can see. I've got look at my hands.
SPEAKER_01Got the little tattoos.
SPEAKER_00I've got my little bulldog and my little C B. You know, I've been supporting a team for when they came in 1935 and she's I was born. Oh, a fair while after that. But anyway, we'll just mention it with the eighth. Oh, what a fantastic night. The walking back to the crowd that sort of was kind of gridlocked. There was that many people there, and it was only about forty-five thousand people to a Thursday night game, an insect day game.
SPEAKER_02Um, we were lucky enough to see the I got a bit emotional.
SPEAKER_01You did.
SPEAKER_00You know, um yeah, it a that tune is very emotional to listen to.
SPEAKER_01The last post.
SPEAKER_00The last post. And um we come from Faccat City where they have a massive uh dawn service. Massive. I think they had somewhere like 35,000 to the one up here on Yep, great turnout. Anyway, uh when we left that game afterwards, me and the uh brother-in-law, Wagsy, we were because we left a bit early. Power had won the game. We knew there was gonna be a lot of people coming out. We were worn pre-hand, you know, uh Wagsy said, mate, when it's when it's time to end, you don't move, you're just walking across that bridge. I'd take 'em one step every fifteen minutes. So we decided to leave about five minutes before play. St. Kilda were badly, badly beaten. They weren't coming back.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_00So you two girls decide to go out in the toilet. Now, when it's quite a time, half time, third call of time, full time, them toilets are fucking packed. When it's not, it's quite easy to get in there, every fucking piss, get out. You two girls fucked around for good fucking 15 minutes.
SPEAKER_01It wasn't that long.
SPEAKER_00And Wagsy and I were just looking at each other going, hurry the fuck up. When they fucking don't hurry the fuck up, hurry the fuck up, hurry, and then we just see the masses. And we left. And it was just it was awesome just to be in amongst the people just walking back. It was such a it was good.
SPEAKER_01It was a good vibe.
SPEAKER_00It was a great night.
SPEAKER_01When you walk over the river, all pretty lights, it was beautiful.
SPEAKER_00You had uh Sky. Was it the Sky Building?
SPEAKER_01Sky City.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the golden building down there.
SPEAKER_01Pretty fancy.
SPEAKER_00We were gonna go to the uh casino on the way back, but people were fucking cute up. So we jumped on the free train to head back down to where we were going. I did tell you that that I'm no good at on training.
SPEAKER_01You did say that.
SPEAKER_00I can't stand on 'em.
SPEAKER_01I didn't quite believe you until I witnessed it.
SPEAKER_00It's very weird. I don't know what it is. I can stand on a boat. I can stand on a like if I caught a coach or bus somewhere, I can stand on that. Uh plane. Well I've never really stood up in a plane. I've never had a piss or shit. Well, I wouldn't shit, but I've never had a piss on a flight yet. Yeah. Haven't been on a long enough trip. Uh that's another thing, but I'll get to that. First observation, well, churches, of course, and the people. Like I said before, Brisbane have the glamours. And Adelaide has the population of the very, very short.
SPEAKER_01Welcome to my world.
SPEAKER_00Baby B, you must have felt I felt like a giraffe. You well, you weren't bigger than anybody. You would have had eye contact at a level, you would have had conversations down there with people at an eye level. And you know, I remember when we went to bed that night, you know, uh normally fucking complain about a kink neck, but you weren't complaining about that.
SPEAKER_01I didn't really notice that the height of the humans Oh no, they're tiny.
SPEAKER_00They were not. So fucking you are you telling me what I say what's only like two minutes that we were in the city. True. And I said, you know what, the first observation was you started to laugh to go, are they ugly? And that wasn't the case at all. I said, no. I said, what do you think it is? And you went, ugly? And I went, Oh, you're nasty. I said, they're short. There must be something in the Adelaide Water. From the hills. Are you gonna deny that there were No no no, I won't deny it. It's a lot of short people. Mainly women. Yeah. The best thing about short women is you can uh rodeo on Giddy up, Cowgoyle.
SPEAKER_01Giddy up.
SPEAKER_00Anywho, fantastic time. Thank you, Al uh.
SPEAKER_01Our family.
SPEAKER_00Family, yep.
SPEAKER_01Yep, that was good. And I new family. Picked up a new skill in playing dance.
SPEAKER_00You did. You're quite good at playing dance. But I've seen that big fucking garage you used to have at your place. Bullshit. I'd seen like seven different dartboards fucking in different colours lined up against the wall.
SPEAKER_01You're just jelly that I was good at it.
SPEAKER_00I'm not jelly. I need you to be good at something. I'm sick of teaching. I'm sick of you to teach you how to eat it. You're a homo. I didn't teach you how to eat. Did I teach you how to eat cocoa pops? Yeah. Open your mouth. Here it comes.
SPEAKER_01I didn't know you had to have them with warm milk and sugar, but every day's a school day.
SPEAKER_00I did uh mention before an episode, one of the early ones. You know, I I've I've always been looked after. You look after me, baby bee. It's not much that I do around here other than winds and plane and I've stopped at whistle, have you noticed that? Have you noticed I do this people? If I need uh something, I'll go and she'll ignore me for a minute until I could go shh shh and then she'll look and go, what do you want? I'll go, can you give me a drink out of the fridge place? I'd get up but I've been busting my hump all day driving. Not physical, just driving. I haven't been busting my hump at all. It's just that you're prepared to do everything. So I take advantage of that because there's been plenty of women in my life that have done that. My beautiful beautiful grandmother, Nan, who uh who's passed many, many years ago. She was the type of woman that would do everything. She's I and our undies. What a lady. Oh, yeah. Yeah, just what I mate. And then uh, you know, my mother was a bit the same. Uh and then when I left home and got into my first like long-term relationship, which is the she wolf, the mother of my kids, she uh looked after me just like then. I used to just come home into the work week, he's the money, get your groceries, do that, all that. I did nothing else. You'd raise the kids. Not something I didn't raise, but then we broke up for a period of time there. I was a bit stranded and lost because you had nobody to look after you. So that means I didn't know how to cook. I could use a toaster, but I didn't really like toaster. And I didn't know how to uh wash my clothes. So I used to live on takeaway and cocoa pops at night. And my mother came over with a microwave and she said, Hey son, this will solve all your problems. I said, Well, what do you do with that? Looks like an old TV. Said, this uh will warm up your your meals. So do you know what I was having? So it baby big as I told you.
SPEAKER_01You did.
SPEAKER_00Warm milk on cocoa pop. So I used to call that thing my milk warmer. It wasn't a microwave to me, it was a milk warmer. Milk warmer. But even uh after my my marriage broke down to a different woman, I I moved I brought a washing machine. Yeah, the thing used to just go shh shh every five minutes.
SPEAKER_01Like the whistle.
SPEAKER_00I brought the drawer in the in the uh washing machine off the bloke and I rang him up, I said, Yeah you fucking use it. He said, Don't touch the ceilings.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00Just press fucking go, and that will do it.
SPEAKER_01You're right.
SPEAKER_00And I'm like cheersburg, not many guys out there that would uh know how to wash their clothes, that's for sure.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, good job.
SPEAKER_00So I just go shh every five minutes and I go in there and go, Yeah, it's not like spinning or nothing, but m must be working. For seven fucking months, and then the uh ex-wife came over, had dinner, and she and I said to her, we went into uh laundry now and I said to her, This washing machine's fucked. You know, look at her, she just does this, not gonna mean I said, it does that every five minutes. She looked at me and went, Are you for fucking real? I went what? She goes, It's on a hand wash.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_00Watch me clothes, uh so gently, but ever so gently. You do a lot for me. You do that you do pretty much everything except for uh but in return, you know, that's that's a pretty good return you get.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah?
SPEAKER_01It's a good trade.
SPEAKER_00Thousand of thousands of thousands of women might not be in your clothes. Endless orgasms that you you weren't quite used to. No. You uh put up a bit of a front at first and uh come on. Come on, don't make me get the lasso out and track you like a horse.
SPEAKER_01You're in deck.
SPEAKER_00So the return is way better. I know it is because who wouldn't want like you'll get at least a five to ten in a sitting or a session, as I call it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you kill school.
SPEAKER_00We're gonna go more than that. That's not your record. Your record's not not m you haven't broken a personal best, but um you're up there, you're gone in the mid-30s there and over a two-day session. Sort of walked funny for a little bit. It's more like you're uh riding on a cloud, like surfing on a cloud. It wasn't like you were going, oh I'm buttons fucking I'm being busted if you burnt me back. It was like you're on cloud nine. Geez, baby P, you're always smiling. And my colleagues are always, oh, you brighten up the place.
SPEAKER_01Breath of fresh air.
SPEAKER_00Only on Thursdays, Fridays, and every now and then, Tuesday after the ADA. You're beaming, you're glowing.
SPEAKER_01I'm a lucky girl.
SPEAKER_00And what I get in return to be looked after. The uh to have all my clothes washed, the bed made, the apartment cleaned, the fanatical with cleaning. I've said this before. If you're a guy, you wanna hope that you find a partner with what is it, OCD?
SPEAKER_01OCD.
SPEAKER_00Then the cleaning one. You don't want the fucking light switch one or the counting, you want the cleaning one. You know, to the point where I used to do it before with Sheolf, she was a bit OCD with cleaner, to the point where I had to crush some cocoa pulpes up at night and just make a bit of a mess as she had something to clean up.
SPEAKER_01You're good at doing that.
SPEAKER_00Lucky for you, I'm a bit of a I don't want to say a clumsy person, but I'm clumsy when it comes to eating.
SPEAKER_01Just a bit of a messer.
SPEAKER_00You think I'm just beating a pig and I'm just like, um, there's something for you to clean up.
SPEAKER_01Cordial and cocoa pops.
SPEAKER_00One cordial spill out of the whole time we've been together compared to your fucking alcohol spills. Yeah? You've had plenty more spills. And we don't want to talk about the other spills, the the droplets that are not blood or nothing, but what's mine is yours, and what's yours is the floor.
SPEAKER_01Let's stop it.
SPEAKER_00I'm only joking.
SPEAKER_01You are.
SPEAKER_00I don't waste that in vagina, so I put it in your ass or in your mouth. No, I don't, I don't. Oh yes, I know, no, I don't. Yes, I don't.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01You do the rubbish.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I take the rubbish out when I go to work and go, fuck, can't you? What? You can't put it in a proper fucking bag? I'm gonna use one of them brown fucking supermarket bags that can't hold fucking shit and they rip.
SPEAKER_01Oh, they're terrible.
SPEAKER_00Fuck you, can't I don't pay for 'em, as you know. No. I refuse to pay for them brown paper bags at the shopping centre. It's a big one. She know who you are, fucking lot of fools and souls. You know who the fuck you are. I will not pay for your bags. And if you look at me when I walk out, look away. Which they do. And then you look at me, misses, and then you have the audacity to look back at me. And then the fear of crisis pull in you only buy a look. And that look is, yeah, I fucked the back out of her tonight. That's why she's fucking floating on cloud night. You want to check a bag, go mad, check a bag. There you go, rock melon, bananas, tomatoes, margarine, no butter, butter, real butter.
SPEAKER_01Real butter.
SPEAKER_00Uh Pandarins. Then the shit I've been telling you to stop. Eight blocks of chocolate, potato chips, ice cream, and fucking what's that other thing you eat in bed all the time. Oh yeah, dick.